Wicked Trips to the Movies

We saw Wicked on Friday night, opening weekend. We bought our tickets for seven adults and three children three weeks in advance. The excitement in our house grew with each passing day.

Going to the movie theater was a pastime for my wife and me for sixteen years before our first child was born. We went to the movies so often that we would drive to theaters further away solely for the change of scenery.

After March 2016, boom, we were done going to the movies.

Our children are now movie-going age at eight and five years old, which means…

We’re back, baby!

We were pleasantly surprised to find that fresh-popped popcorn, sticky floors, and apathetic teenage employees—all of our favorite staples—remained the same as they were in 2016. Outside of that, there is nothing but improvements: the screens are giant, the seats are like beds, and they serve cocktails.

Having children means we may not go to the movies we want to see, but while much has been said about the golden age of television, children’s movies are also having a fantastic run. From the non-stop stream of hits from Pixar to unexpected gems like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem and Transformers One, there is no shortage of movies made to entertain both kids and adults.

Some of my favorite movies from the past decade are children’s movies.

As parents, we sometimes forget that our kids don’t yet feel the dopamine rush we get when walking into a movie theater lobby. That familiar smell of popcorn and the hum of excitement in the air is all new to them.

We’re building the foundation of their nostalgia, which can feel overwhelming when planning even semi-special events like a trip to the movies.

But here’s the thing: you can decide how to spend your emotional energy. Go into it with enthusiasm, which is easier even on the worst days because you’re about to get an hour and a half of rest as long as you set it up for success.

You may be thinking movies are expensive. They can be, and we’ll get to that, but stay with me here.

Pay attention to your theater’s deals. Matinees are a surefire way to save, but check if they have weekday specials. Our local theater has $5 tickets all day on Tuesdays.

Build anticipation in the days leading up to the movie. Tell your kids you’re excited about it at unexpected times with genuine enthusiasm. Jenni and I typically break into spontaneous songs or chants, but you do you.

Bring blankets. While being cozy is nice, that’s not the main reason for this tip.

Frequent trips to the theater are key to building that cinema magic you want your kids to feel one day. However, the amount of money your children could spend at a concession stand is staggering.

Make sure everyone is fed before you leave the house, and head out ten minutes earlier than usual. Use the extra time to stop somewhere for a reasonably priced treat to sneak into the theater. The first time I did this with my kids, I left Target with a Kinder Egg and a pack of gum.

This is where the blanket comes in. It’s the metaphorical cake to hide your file—aka the pre-bought treat. Remind your children that it’s of the utmost importance that no one in the lobby even suspects contraband is wrapped in the Paw Patrol blanket. They get a thrill; we save money.

My son even put on a ruse while we were in line to get popcorn, illegal candy securely wrapped in a plush blanket.

“Daddy, I don’t need candy this time.” He looked at me with a knowing smile, proud of his acting performance.

And, yes, we were buying popcorn and a couple of drinks. As far as Jenni is concerned, popcorn is part of the admission price. This is why the candy subterfuge is a moral gray area I’m comfortable with. Take this as your invitation to live on the wild side.

All of this amounts to more fun and less whining.

There are some movies that need a little extra magic.

There are the movies we know our families will love, but my favorite thing about going to the movies now is the genuine excitement on my kids’ faces when a trailer for an unexpected film comes on the screen. Plus, you now have an accessible event to look forward to and get excited about as a family. It’s also handy for distracting from the various “no’s” you’ll have to hand out in the meantime.

We went all out for Wicked. My daughter, Clementine, counted down the days—not just to see the movie but mostly to wear her new Wicked dress. The rest of us bought apparel from the movie as well. I chose Wicked Sour Gummies as our smuggled treat.

The movie did not disappoint.

Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande both deliver fantastic performances with their acting and vocals. Delivering at their level is no easy feat, given how beloved the Broadway play is and how iconic the original performances by Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel are.

While some might be annoyed by the movie’s length (2 hours 40 minutes) or the fact that it’s not the full story, I’d argue those people are not fans of Wicked, musicals, or both. If you are a fan of either, however, Wicked will meet your expectations.

The adaptation from stage to screen hits the mark while taking creative risks to make the movie visually stunning. It seems as though director Jon Chu may have found his niche in bringing stage musicals to the screen. He had previous success with Lin Manuel Miranda’s In The Heights in 2021 and is currently working on an adaptation of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

Wicked is rated PG, so most kids will handle it fine. That said, there are flying monkeys—different from the originals, but equally terrifying. To be clear, that’s my adult perspective. Monkeys shouldn’t have wings.

If you want more about our trip to Wicked make sure to check out Wicked, Football, & A New Holiday | The Kids Are In Bed Ep 43.

The point is, don’t wait for the magic to come to you. I’m as guilty as any parent of thinking I need to put in maximum effort to make my kids behave and have fun, only to decide I don’t have the energy to do anything because… well, life. Then I go to bed feeling guilty, like I have no magic to give.

When you feel like that, remember the words of Glinda from The Wizard of Oz:

“You’ve always had the power, my dear. You’ve had it all along.”

Sprinkle a little enthusiasm on the mundane. Your kids will show you the magic.

Wicked, Football & A New Holiday? | The Kids Are In Bed Ep 43

What happens when you try to squeeze Wicked, tailgating & football, and Thanksgiving prep into one jam-packed weekend? Absolute chaos—and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

In this episode of The Kids Are in Bed, Tim and Jenni Severson share a candid (and often hilarious) recap of their family-filled adventures. From their night out at Wicked—complete with matching outfits and 9 million real flowers—to their cozy home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner, the weekend was full of love, laughter, and a few missteps.

Highlights include:

  • Mini Vacations vs. Full Vacations: Why short getaways can feel even more relaxing than extended trips.
  • The Magic of Wicked: Our thoughts on the stunning visuals, incredible cast, and Ariana Grande’s surprising performance.
  • Tailgate Wins (and Woes): Why packing chili at 6:30 AM is both genius and nauseating.
  • Thanksgiving Hot Takes: Is stuffing more important than turkey? Plus, our foolproof recipe for making Thanksgiving stress-free.
  • Holiday Reinvention: Could a pre-Thanksgiving “No Pressure Giving” holiday be the key to keeping your family drama-free?

This episode is filled with laughs, family-friendly moments, and hot takes on everything from holiday traditions to stadium traffic. Whether you’re a fan of The Kids Are in Bed or just discovering us, this one is a must-listen.

Road Trip Around the World | The Kids Are In Bed Ep 42

Road trip!! In this episode of “The Kids Are In Bed,” Tim and Jenni Severson dive headfirst into the hilarious chaos of their recent escapades and their unconventional holiday plans.

Read Tim’s latest essay: Unaccompanied Minor, Lifelong Friend

Jenni kicks things off by recounting her wildly successful Friendsgiving celebration. Forget plain cranberry sauce—she took cranberries to the next level with creative cranberry cocktail recipes like cranberry Moscow Mules and rosé spritzers that had everyone feeling extra thankful. And who needs charcuterie boards when you can have the most adorable charcuterie cups? She spills the secrets behind these Instagram-worthy snacks that are both cute and delicious.

Jenni's Charcuterie Cups
Jenni’s adorable and tasty charcuterie cups.

Meanwhile, Tim shares his misadventures in Brainerd, Minnesota. It starts with the much-anticipated (and ultimately disappointing) Mike Tyson and Jake Paul fight. Spoiler alert: watching a 58-year-old Tyson wasn’t the thrilling spectacle he hoped for. But the real knockout came when he accidentally swapped shoes with his brother, leading to a confusing shoe hunt and driving in socks—because nothing says “responsible adult” like showing up to your brother’s restaurant shoeless. To top it off, he had an unexpected and aggressive roadside encounter that left him questioning if his choice of car was the real issue. Oh, and he tried impressing his friends with a full moon photo that was, let’s say, less appreciated than he’d hoped.

The duo then discuss their audacious decision to toss tradition out the window and spend Thanksgiving at the Wisconsin Dells. Who needs turkey when you have waterslides? They’re embracing new holiday family traditions, and the kids couldn’t be more thrilled about a Wisconsin Dells Thanksgiving. They reminisce about past road trips, debating what actually qualifies as a road trip (apparently anything over three hours), and share their favorite road trip snacks—because calories don’t count on the open road. Tim is all about sunflower seeds and Buffalo blue combos, while Jenni confesses her gas station guilty pleasures like Tahitian Treat and Milk Duds.

They also delve into the joys and challenges of traveling with kids, offering up some hard-earned family road trip tips. Ever tried to maintain sanity with two kids, two tablets, and a bag of gummy worms in the backseat? They’ve got stories—and advice.

Join Tim and Jenni for a lighthearted conversation filled with laughs, candid moments, and enough holiday cheer to make even the Grinch crack a smile. Whether you’re looking for Friendsgiving ideas, planning a non-traditional Thanksgiving, or just need a good laugh from some funny road trip stories, this episode has got you covered.

Unaccompanied Minor, Lifelong Friend

Click the play button above to listen to the audio. Images and a video enhance the story below.

“At this time, we’d like to welcome customers needing assistance or additional assistance to board.”

That announcement was my least favorite part of traveling alone as a child for various reasons—primarily because of how singled out it made me.

I could feel strangers’ eyes on me as an airline employee walked me to the gate, ensuring I wasn’t lost in transit. I wondered what stories they concocted about a thirteen-year-old traveling alone from Syracuse, NY, to Minneapolis, MN.

The freedom that comes along with a trip alone halfway across the country—with a layover in Detroit—gives a teenager in the throes of puberty a high unlike any other.

Decked out in K-Swiss kicks, baggy Tommy Hilfiger carpenter shorts with a braided belt, a matching Hilfiger tee, a puka shell necklace, an overwhelming amount of Hilfiger cologne, and a Discman clutched in my hand—I did my best to look important. I was oblivious to the fact that each attempt to mask my teenage awkwardness only highlighted it further.

I spent my first seven years in upstate New York, where I met my oldest friend. He lived two blocks away in the small town of Ogdensburg, on the shore of the St. Lawrence River—a river that became our playground.

When I moved to Minnesota, staying in touch with him wasn’t easy. We were learning to read and write then, and long-distance phone calls in the ’90s were more expensive than a plane ticket—or so my parents insisted.

A summer trip became a tradition.

Often, I would fly out with my parents. They would stay for a week and then head back to Minnesota, while I remained in New York, halfway across the country (you’ve gotta love the nineties), for an additional week and then flew home as an unaccompanied minor.

I much preferred the latter since my parents turned into different people when they got within five miles of an airport—and this was pre-9/11.

We would spend our days swimming in the frigid, crystal-clear blue water of the St. Lawrence River until we were too exhausted to fight the current.

We would shove peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into our mouths in wet swimsuits, forming wet spots on the carpet as we rewatched our favorite movies from the limited selection of VHS tapes at camp, with the distant sound of boats coming from the river.

For my Midwestern friends: camp = cabin.

One summer, we watched Forrest Gump at least once a day for two weeks. It turns out that this does little for a person. Well, aside from making them irritating to servers at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. when you suggest their trivia questions aren’t challenging enough by throwing trivia questions back at them.

On rainy days, we played board games whose boxes were disintegrating due to humidity and years of use.

We skipped rocks, perfected ’N Sync dances, roasted marshmallows, and memorized the lyrics to “Summer Girls” by LFO.

As LFO would say, “I think about that summer, and I bug ’cause I miss it.”

As we grew up, he began taking trips to Minnesota.

Impossibly, we both found our footing immediately within each other’s friend groups. These microbursts of time allowed us to be a better version of ourselves, free from the insecurities that plagued us in school with our day-to-day friends.

I felt exotic. Girls giggled when a Minnesota “oh” would come through in words like “boat.” People were interested in me instantly, so the most challenging part of making friends—breaking the ice—was eliminated.

The distance didn’t stop me from crushing on girls from both states, adding hormone-fueled excitement to my trips.

Year after year, we would pack the best summer we could imagine into less than two weeks.

That’s another reason I despised hearing that boarding call at the gate.

It was then that a lump formed in my throat, and tears stung my eyes—another perfect summer vacation had ended.

I began questioning how long our friendship would last as I got older. The question was undoubtedly brought on by jealousy, as solid friendships formed with others over the fifty weeks we weren’t together each year.

“Singing in My Sleep” by Semisonic played through my headphones as I took my seat on the plane. The melody of that song brings me back to that tarmac every time I hear it.

For that, I have my best friend’s mom to thank. She always sent me home with a gift, often hidden in my suitcase. This year, she gave me Feeling Strangely Fine by Semisonic, an album I adore to this day.

I was thumbing through coins in my hand when my seatmate, a white-haired woman who smelled like peppermint, sat down next to me. I smiled and went back to examining a Canadian toonie.

Yes, the two-dollar coin is actually called a “toonie.” Oh, Canada—never change.

“Do you know how many animals are on that coin?” she said, buckling her seat belt.

“One?” I studied the scenery around the polar bear on the back of the coin, thinking I’d find a bird flying in the background.

“Six.” She raised her eyebrows as her red lipstick formed a smirk.

I gave her a skeptical smile back. She held out her hand for the coin.

Canadian Toonie Friend
Canadian Toonie

“Everyone can see the polar bear, but if you turn the coin upside down”—she spun the coin in her hand and covered the bottom half with her thumb—“cover the bear’s body… There. The bear’s legs turn into four seals.”

Canadian toonie modified to show 4 seals Friend
Hidden Seals

“That’s pretty cool.” I adjusted in my seat, interested in where the sixth animal would come from.

She held the coin back in her palm and gave it a quarter turn. She picked it up, covering the bear’s head and forelegs with her thumb.

“And the tyrannosaurus rex makes six. Some people think it looks like the T-Rex is eating a seal, and that makes seven, but I’ll leave that up to you.”

Canadian Toonie modified to show T-Rex - Friend
Hidden T-Rex

She was a gift from the universe. I shudder to think what that plane ride would’ve been like if I’d been left alone to brood in my teenage angst.

We talked to each other most of the flight, and she distracted me from wondering if the next trip would be the one when it didn’t click—if it would be the meeting when we discovered that the ember that kept our friendship going had been extinguished. I would catalog new things I liked or new hobbies I’d developed and wonder if those would be the things that would fracture our friendship.

On the second leg of my trip, it was clear the universe wasn’t done with me. My seatmate turned out to be a twenty-something woman traveling the world on her way to California. She had a worn backpack adorned with patches and keychains. Her chocolate hair was wrapped up in a messy bun. She told me about her globe-trotting adventures in her French accent.

Our conversation began when I showed her the number of animals on the back of a toonie.

A real toonie, for one.

Of course, that trip was not the last good one. The tradition of making sure we see each other at least once a year has continued through middle school, junior high, high school, college, jobs, and kids from halfway across the country.

This year has been hectic with life changes for both of us, so it seemed that meeting wasn’t in the cards.

On a chilly, sun-filled Friday morning in October in Minnesota, I was forcing my wife to watch videos my friend and I had filmed of ourselves and texted to each other earlier that week. She stood in our entryway, confused as she tried to identify the humor in the videos.

We were getting ready to walk out the door to get a coffee as I talked about how much I loved that he and I recorded goofy videos for each other.

Then the doorbell rang.

A man with a beard, camo hat, and Spirit Halloween bag stood on my front deck as my wife flattened herself against the wall to avoid being seen.

I would have been up against the wall nine times out of ten with her, but this looked like nothing more than a delivery—not someone trying to sell me a Kirby vacuum.

I greeted the man, who was distracted by his phone. I regretted opening the door, but he finally looked up, pulled down his fake beard, and revealed a familiar grin.

The Surprise

Not many people can honestly say they have had a friend their entire life.

I can.

He was there when I was born and has remained a constant—a source of laughter and advice.

Some friendships endure because both people work at it, and others just are.

I’ve sat at the end of a dock—listening to the water of the St. Lawrence River flow by, drinking beer and talking until the sun starts to come up—long enough to know our friendship is the latter.

As I watched the hours tick down on the final day of his most recent visit, dreading every passing minute, I tried to reframe the situation.

I always thought of the boarding announcements at the airport as the end of a good time.

I spun that thought around, just like the woman had shown me with the toonie, and looked at it from a new perspective. The announcements did not ask me to board a flight traveling away from a good time; they were taking me to the next one.

So I wait, never wholly rid of the fear that the next meeting will be when things don’t click—until we meet again, and they do.

And all is well.

Cheers.

Robert Ripley, Believe It | The Kids Are In Bed Ep 41

Step right up, step right up. Believe it or not, this week, Tim and Jenni (well, mostly Tim) take a deep dive into the story of Robert Ripley, creator of Ripley’s Believe It or Not. Watch how a 15-second TikTok sent Tim spiraling down the rabbit hole of Mr. Ripley’s life story. They cover the museums and the TV show featuring Superman, Dean Cain. This episode is a behind-the-scenes look at what happens when Tim is interested in something Jenni could not care less about. Despite Tim’s best efforts, she managed to stay awake for the entire episode. Believe it or not.

Shout out to Rik for jumpstarting this episode with his Fact Check article. He has some fabulous “Ramblings,” it is worth your time to poke around and read some of his articles.

Unimportant Arguments | The Kids Are In Bed Ep 40

Tim and Jenni tackle society’s biggest debates about some of life’s most unimportant arguments on this week’s episode of The Kids Are In Bed. The pair throw caution to the wind as they tackle some of society’s most controversial questions. Topics that, on the surface, seem inconsequential but are known to start arguments and end relationships. From whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich to brushing your teeth in the shower, Tim and Jenni bravely discuss these topics and defend their stances on these divisive issues. So settle in, get ready to laugh, and get annoyed by things that do not matter.

Read: Hot Dog or Sandwich: A New Hill to Die On

Article About The Lost Class Ring

After you watch the episode, we would appreciate your feedback on these topics. Please take a moment to complete the poll questions below. Rest assured, your vote is anonymous. If you have further thoughts, comment or DM us, and we will address them on the next show.

Welcome to Pinehaven

“We are going to get caught. Let’s just go back to the party, Kev,” Carmen said as she glanced behind her at affluent Lakeview Boulevard, shrowded by the dark fall night. 

The wind whipped off Lake Serenity through the towering pines, carrying the fresh scent of pine needles and a chill that forced her to pull the cape of her Little Red Riding Hood costume tighter around her shoulders.

“They’re never home,” came Kevin’s voice from the bushes in front of the house. “And usually the front door is unlocked, but luckily I know where they hide their… got it!”

Kevin’s head – topped with the wild hair and pointy ears of his Teen Wolf Costume – popped up out of the bushes; he was holding a rock the size of a baseball.

Carmen felt her heart leap a little in her chest as he did. She couldn’t see his face but could hear the smile she had been smitten with since the first day of sixth grade when Kevin’s family moved to their little town.

She wasn’t naive. Growing up in the Timber Mill Quarter, she understood her odds of a lifetime with a boy—from the affluent Lakeside District—wouldn’t last forever.

They were two months into their senior year of high school, and neither had dared to talk about what would happen when the year ended. They always spoke to each other in forever terms. They talked about where they would live and what their house would look like, and even argued about what their first baby’s name would be just this past summer.

“See,” Carmen’s best friend Jenna said, spinning her laptop screen to face Carmen, “Two percent! Two percent of marriages are to high school sweethearts. So you need to stop freaking out and start having fun. You two aren’t going to get married.”

Carmen understood the statistics, but she resolved to enjoy the love she had as much as she could while she had it.

“Aaand, we’re in,” Kevin said as a gust of wind sent leaves tumbling across the driveway. “I can’t believe people still use these ‘hide-a-key’ things.”

Carmen hesitated.

“I—I still don’t think this is a good idea,” she said, looking over her shoulder at the dark, empty street. “What if they come home?”

“I told you, they FaceTimed my mom this morning to make sure everything was okay with the house. Mrs. Connor was on the beach telling my mom about the bottomless mimosas. Even if they got on a plane right after hanging up, there is no way they could make it home from Hawaii until tomorrow morning. We have the house to ourselves.”

Kevin held out his hand, gesturing for Carmen to enter the house.

As she stepped inside, she saw something flash in her peripheral vision and screamed.

Kevin slammed the door, put his hand over her mouth, and pressed her against the wall in the foyer.

“Shhh,” he said, smiling. “Do you want to get us in trouble? When I said, ‘we have the house to ourselves,’ I was including Chase.”

Carmen looked down to see Chase, the Connors’ adorable orange and white tabby cat, head-bunting Kevin’s legs in search of attention.

Carmen exhaled in relief. “Sorry, he scared me.”

“Thanks for clearing that up.”

“Shut up. It’s dark, it’s Halloween, and my boyfriend convinced me to break into someone’s house,” Carmen said, narrowing her eyes at him.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Kevin said as he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her forehead. “Do you think our house will be this big?”

As he pulled away, Carmen began to take in the house’s interior. The house was spotless and smelled of lemon cleaner. It looked like one of those model houses they put up in a new development. The staples were there: couches, a large dining room table with a place setting, TVs, and a few generic pieces of artwork hung from the walls. It was the kind of place that highlighted the difference between a house and a home.

“I don’t know, darling,” Carmen began, attempting to sound high-falutin. “It’s big, of course, but you know I am partial to marble flooring. And what is it with these low ceilings? It feels rather tight here.”

“Yes, yes, you’re right, my love,” Kevin said, playing along. “I shall find a new realtor at once. Please forgive me.”

They laughed as their lips pressed together.

Carmen pushed him back to arm’s length and said, “So, what’s your plan, mister? You’ve got me alone in this house, and I am getting bored.”

“Hold that thought. I’ll be right back,” he said, winking at her before disappearing into the kitchen.

Carmen walked to the bookshelf on the other side of the living room, adorned with framed pictures, knick-knacks, and, of course, books.

Mr. and Mrs. Connor didn’t have any children, so all of the picture frames were filled with shots of them on vacation. While the backdrop varied from tropical, sugar-sand beaches to historic landmarks, the couple could have been photoshopped into every one of the pictures.

They stood on the same side in every picture and had the bright smiles of newlyweds in every image.

Carmen picked up a picture of the couple in front of the Tower Bridge in London. She allowed her imagination to replace their faces with hers and Kevin’s. She tried to imagine taking the picture. She imagined showing the picture to her friends at a dinner party after they returned from another one of their European vacations. She fell head-first into the fantasy.

She froze when she saw the silhouette of someone standing behind her in the reflection of the glass in the picture frame.

“Kevin? What are you doing?”

No response.

Too afraid to move, she tried again. “Kevin, if you’re trying to scare m—”

“What are you doing here?” a voice whispered.

Carmen screamed as she jumped, dropping the picture frame. Glass shattered on the hardwood floor as she spun around to see Kevin standing behind her, holding two hard seltzers.

“Don’t do that!”

“It’s too easy,” he laughed, holding out the two cans. “Watermelon or black cherry?”

“Watermelon,” Carmen said, snatching it from his hand. “What do we do about the picture frame?”

“Let’s figure that out later,” Kevin said, sitting on the couch and patting the cushion beside him.

Carmen took a long drink and winced as the sharp carbonated malt liquor slid down her throat. She set the can on the bookshelf before jumping on top of Kevin and kissing him. He gently slid his hand up her back, to the back of her neck, then to her cheek.

Carmen felt goosebumps all over her body as he brushed her straight, brown hair behind her ear.

He pulled away, looking her in the eye, saying, “I really do love you.”

She studied his face for a moment and knew he meant it. She felt it, too. She didn’t know whether it was lust or love in such moments. All she knew was that it felt good. It felt as though she couldn’t get close enough to him. She pressed every part of herself into him as they lay on the couch.

They heard a thump from the ceiling above them.

Carmen lifted her face away from Kevin’s and looked to the stairs. “What was that?”

“Chase, remember? Actually, the Connors will think he’s the one who broke the picture,” he said, attempting not to lose his opportunity to make it to second base.

“That sounded bigger than a cat.”

“All right,” Kevin sighed. “Let’s go check it out.”

They turned on the lights leading upstairs. Kevin made his way up with Carmen hot on his heels, looking over her shoulder as he went up.

Kevin strutted from room to room, turning on lights and checking in closets and under beds. When he turned on the light to the Connors’ bedroom, Chase ran out of the door to Carmen’s feet.

“See,” Kevin said, unable to hide the frustration in his voice. “What did I tell you?”

Carmen bent down and picked up Chase, who purred as she scratched behind his ears.

“I know, I know, it’s because it’s Halloween.”

“It is? Thank God, I was worried everyone was going to figure out my secret tonight,” he said, looking down at his Teen Wolf costume.

“Well, your secret is safe with me,” Carmen said with a sly grin.

“Good, because then I wouldn’t have to eat you,” he said, walking toward her down the hall.

“My, what sharp teeth you have,” she said.

“The better to eat you with,” Kevin said, snarling into her neck.

They were making their way down the stairs, laughing, when they heard three hard pounds on the door.

They stood halfway down the stairs, staring at each other. Kevin brought a finger to his lips, telling Carmen to be quiet.

He padded to the front door. All Carmen could hear was her heartbeat in her ears. Kevin reached for the doorknob when they heard a knock on the window in the living room.

Carmen saw the tension release from Kevin’s shoulders. He turned and said, “It has to be Andy. I told him we were coming here, and he’s trying to freak us out. I’ll take care of him.”

He yanked the door open and looked on the front porch momentarily. He turned around with a smile and ran across the living room to the kitchen.

“I saw him run around back. I am going to get him for this one; come on.”

Carmen followed him to the kitchen, where he went to the back patio door and opened it.

“I know you’re out there, you idiot,” he said in a hushed voice. “You better not wake the neighbors and get us caught.”

He shut the door and walked to Carmen. “Sorry, babe. I should have known he’d pull some stuff like this. Let’s get a drink.”

Kevin walked across the living room, closed the front door, and went down to the basement to get drinks.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Carmen said. “We are leaving if anything else even remotely creepy happens.”

Carmen entered the main floor powder room and shut the door when her phone buzzed. She received a text from her best friend, Jenna.

Jenna: Are you coming or not?

Carmen: Don’t think so. Is it fun?

Jenna: It would be better if you were here! But I understand you need to spend quality time with the love of your life. You should watch this tho.

A video popped up in the messaging app, and Carmen hit play.

She immediately turned the volume down as the sound of high school seniors laughing and yelling nearly blew out her eardrums. She saw familiar faces illuminated with the orange glow of a bonfire. Her friend Kim came into the shot, tripped over a cooler, and fell into a heap of laughter when she said something that sent a shiver down Carmen’s spine.

“Andy has a flat tire,” Kim said, gasping through laughter. “And he doesn’t know how to change a tire.”

She looked in the mirror, and it occurred to her that she had never seen what she looked like when terrified. 

“Kevin,” she said, opening the bathroom door, “Are you sure it was Andy? I just got a text from Jenna and…”

She stopped as she looked at Kevin. His blue eyes still dazzled her, like they did when he walked into the classroom on the first day of sixth grade, even next to the pool of blood.

Blood. So much blood.

Kevin lay on the floor, eyes open, as an impossible amount of blood darkened the floor around him. Carmen stared as the pool of blood grew on the floor, and then a shadow emerged, making the blood look like a pool of ink.

Carmen looked to the kitchen doorway to see someone standing motionless. The light from the kitchen behind the person made it impossible to make out any features.

She shook her head in an attempt to clear her vision. They stood there still, motionless, over Kevin’s lifeless body. It looked like they were wearing a hood, or was it a mask?

She tried to scream, but there was no air in her lungs.

Wake up, she thought, you have to get out of here. Run to the front door now. Run. RUN!

She looked in the direction of the front door, still frozen with fear, then looked back at the attacker, who slowly shook their head.

Now or never.

She made a break for the front door, grabbed the doorknob, and pulled.

The door was locked. She grabbed the deadbolt to unlock the door, and as she did, a hand grabbed the back of her hair and slammed her face into the door.

Carmen heard the crunch of her nose breaking before she plunged into darkness.

A LETTER TO THE READER

Dear Reader,

While I find it impolite not to introduce myself properly, I cannot do so now. I do hope you will forgive me for this, as I know by the time this letter ends you will desperately want to know my name. 

Your narrator decided to spair you the details of what I did to Carmen and Kevin. If I were telling you this story, I would not spare you from these details. 

No. I respect you too much to treat you like a child who is too innocent to hear such things.

I was nervous tonight. I’ve never done this before, so you’ll have to pardon me the night felt a bit trite. I was doing my best to recreate a mosaic of all the horror movies I have seen. I watched those two kids sneaking into a house that didn’t belong to them on Halloween night. I would have liked to be more prolific, more origiinal but alas here we are.

It’s true what they say though, there are no failures in life, only lessons to be learned. And I learned a lot.

I wanted to take more time with them. I wanted to have more of a conversation. Get to know them, well, get to know them a little better. I got too… let’s say excited. 

I saw the way they looked at each other on that couch and I have to say, I believe Kevin really loves, err, loved Carmen. She loved him, she really loved him. She loved him so much more than anything in her life.

She told me.

Do you want someone to tell you the truth? 

Put a knife to their throat.

If I wouldn’t have been pressed for time, I would have gotten her full, unabridged, honest life story. She begged to tell me anything to save her life. I got the information I needed but eventually it gets to be a bit annoying. I love my mom, I want to live, Please, I’ll do anything – blah, blah, blah. 

I didn’t intend on writing you this letter. My plan was to disappear like a ghost or a boogieman for you to think about the next time you’re home alone and here a noise in another part of your house. I wanted you to wonder if the next knock on your door was coming from me or someone who cared about your life. 

We never know when we are going to find out pashion though, do ew? 

I have a taste for this now and I want to see if anyone can catch me or if my thirst for blood is insatiable enough to keep me hidden in plain sight while I wait for my next opportunity. And the next. And the next. 

I wonder if you will piece it together first or if someone in this town will beat you to the punch. I am not so disillusioned to believe I will not get caught, rather that is the point. 

The real question is how many innocent people, i.e. Kevin and Carmen, will wind up having there final conversation with me? What secrets will they tell? How much will they beg?

I hope to meet you in person someday. I now know it will be far more fun to talk to you then it is to watch you through your window.

Happy Halloween.

Halloween: Mumming & Guising | The Kids Are In Bed Ep. 39

Why do we wear costumes? Why do we ask for candy? Where did Halloween even come from? If you have asked yourself these questions but were too lazy to search for the answers, you’ve come to the right place. This week, Tim and Jenni discuss the origins of the holiday we know today. Where it came from, when it started, why we wear costumes, why we threaten people with tricks if they don’t give us sugar – we cover it all along by talking about our Halloween memories, costumes, and traditions. Harvest has ended, and winter is upon us, so it is time to wear your costume and bob for apples!

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Homecoming | The Kids Are In Bed Ep 38

We have spent the past twenty-four episodes catching you up on how we got here as a couple 25 years later. That left us wondering: what the hell do we talk about now?! The answer fell into our lap as the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers host the Maryland Terrapins this weekend for the Gophers’ annual homecoming game.

What is homecoming? When did this American tradition begin? Why? Where? Who should be credited with starting this tradition?

Don’t worry; Tim and Jenni will answer all your questions this week! So, throw on your alma mater’s colors and come to homecoming with us! Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe. Thanks for laughing with us.

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25 Years, H-O-T-T-O-G-O | The Kids Are In Bed Ep 37

This is the last week of our countdown through our 25 years together! Will 2023 have what it takes to swoop in at the final minute and steal victory? Tim and Jenni discuss Tim’s 40th birthday party and how Hot To Go by Chappell Roan feels like it has existed forever. They discuss Taylor Swift, the Eras tour, and Rhianna’s Super Bowl performance. Then they dive into their movie games with the box office winners and best picture nominees. For Tim and Jenni, 2023 was a year of travel – Palm Springs, Chicago, Chattanooga, Cabo San Lucas, and Bozeman. Jenni became a soccer mom, and the Severson family started a new tradition of Christmas caroling, but will it be enough to hold the top spot?

Read about Tim’s Unexpected Adventures In Chicago