I have become a punchline with boys over at iKnowBadeaux since I am supposed to be the “Official Movie Reviewer.”
Recently, they played a baseball-movie themed game (you can listen to the episode here) and I am disappointed in the things those morons had to say about an amazing film.
Here is your movie review, idiots.
I will never forget the day that I saw the trailer for this movie.
A movie about the Twins? Filmed in the Metrodome?!
June 29, 1994. Cinematic history was made with the release of Little Big League.
This story follows young Billy Haywood, whose beloved grandfather owns the Minnesota Twins. Unexpectedly, Billy’s grandfather dies and out of tragedy his dream (and the dream of any adolescent boy) comes true when his grandfather leaves the team to him in his will.
What follows is a hilarious roller coaster of emotions.
The struggling Twins take exception with their new adolescent owner and do not take him seriously. Slowly, the coaches and players alike start to see that Billy is a baseball savant. Billy understands baseball situations at a sabermetrician level before sabermetrics even existed. This movie is years ahead of it’s time.
When the Twins’ manager George O’Farrell (Dennis Farina) deliberately disobeys his instructions, Billy has no choice but to fire O’Farrell and appoint himself manager of the team.
Well, after promising his mom he wouldn’t fall behind on home work of course!
Slowly but surely Billy begins to win over the team with his fun loving back to basics approach to managing the team.
Timothy Busfield gives a spectacular performance as the team’s veteran first baseman Lou Collins initially Billy’s best friend on the team but, when Billy finds out that Lou is banging his mom (Ashley Crow) their relationship gets strained and results in Billy benching the veteran out of spite! What?!
Billy discovers his own sexuality and, presumably, masturbation when on a road trip in New York. He is helpless against the evil temptress that is Spectrovision and the skin flick Night Nurses from Jersey. Unfortunately for Billy, the bill is sent to his mother (the one Lou is banging) and it turns out Billy watched the movie 11 times! Needless to say, Billy masturbated himself into a coma because he couldn’t even stay awake during the game the next day versus the Yankees. Classic!
The Twins start to make play after play in one of the greatest sports movie montages of all time set to the classic “Run Around Sue” by Dion DiMucci.
Needless to say, at the end of the montage the Twins are contending for a playoff spot. The only team standing in their way is the Seattle Mariners led by Ken Griffey Jr.
The game comes down to the final at bat with Lou Collins at the dish. A home run will send the Twins to the playoffs… on the way to the plate he turns and asks Billy if he can marry his mom to which Billy replies “if you hit a homer.” He thinks on it for a second and decides to let Lou know that he can marry her either way. The look in Billy’s eye, however, suggests that he is still upset about Lou banging his mom behind his back.
Lou hits a deep drive to center. He has done it, this will surely be the home run that sends the Twins to the playoffs…. until that son of a bitch Ken Griffey Jr. robs Lou of the home run, his marriage and the respect of a 12 year old.
This movie is not only a must see but a must own.
Do not listen to the dumb-asses on the iKnowBadeaux podcast.
I give this American pastime flick 3 strikes because it’s out of this world!
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