Chemistry Lab Embarrassment

The autumn rain fell soaking the colorful discarded leaves. This made rollerblading difficult (if you didn’t read the story yesterday, my primary mode of transportation in college was rollerblading). An attempt to push hard would lead to a pulled groin. Or worse, humiliation in front of strangers.

On this day I would make it to Chemistry Lab without injury or embarrassment (sorry to disappoint).

I climbed down from the bunk bed in my dorm. Threw on jeans and the first hooded sweatshirt I saw. I got a quick whiff of a fruity scent.

My girlfriend had visited the previous weekend. I realized that I had unknowingly put on the sweatshirt she “borrowed” months ago.

I made my way up the front steps to the Chemistry building with my rollerblades on. I found a bench and changed into my shoes. Again, this was no easy task. Stone floors and wet roller blade wheels do not mix. It is like trying to move through a crowd on soft sticks of butter. It felt like a lucky day because I completed this without injuring or embarrassing myself.

Don’t worry, my luck runs out. It always does. What? You thought this was going to be an informative blog about a thrilling freshman Chemistry lab from fall 2003? If so…. I think you’re in the wrong class…

Timeout – the anxiety that is flooding my chest as I write this is terrible. The thought of  just going to Chemistry lab is terrifying. Sorry. – Time In.

It was always nice to see classmates in Chem lab since I never saw them in lectures. Lectures were optional. I didn’t go.

I despised Chemistry lab for two reasons.

1. I am bad at Chemistry. Not sure if it is because of a lack of intelligence or lack of interest… Hmmm.

2. Lab partners aren’t assigned, so I am forced to find a partner. A task that makes me feel uncomfortable to this day. The fear of rejection makes my palms sweat. I always felt like people were getting stuck with me. I felt bad for them.

On this day I didn’t need to do much seeking. I made awkward eye contact with the girl standing next to me and that was all it took.

I mumbled, “Do you wanna…”

“Sure.”

Talk about chemistry.

We found an empty counter spot with a Bunsen burner. The teachers assistant started to explain what the day’s experiment would consist of with, “As you all remember from lecture…”

My face flushed since I had not been to the previous lecture. I started to panic. I began searching for an excuse to give when it was time to begin the experiment. Then, I noticed that my lab partner wasn’t looking completely confident. The TA finished and it was time to start.

“I didn’t go to lecture this week,” she said.

Flooded with relief, then, a new panic I said, “me neither.”

Awkward silence followed as we both pondered what to do next. I shoved my hands into the front pouch of my sweatshirt. I began nervously rubbing my hands together. Then, I felt something else in the pouch of my sweatshirt. Definitely made of cloth. I couldn’t determine what it was with my hands.

I pulled the foreign object out and held it in my hands.

Panties. Girls underwear (for the layman).

Like a magician, I have pulled underwear from my sweatshirt in the middle of my chemistry lab filled with students.

Surprise paralyzed me. Standing there staring into my hands I hear…

“Umm… Nice…”

My lab partner is staring at me like I am the biggest creep in the world.

What do I say? I have no clue how these got here. Say something. You have to say something. Say something. Say SOMETHING!

“They’re not mine…”

Genius.

“Well I hope not.”

My face boiled as blood rushed to it. I heard laughter on both sides of me and realized that I the underwear were still in my hands.

“Dude, that’s awesome.” said a guy across the counter.

I put the underwear back where I found them.

Why?

Luckily, my intense embarrassment helped form a bond with the pair across the counter. And, they actually went to the lecture. My partner and I got much-needed help with the experiment.

We finished up and I apologized to my lab partner. Unfortunately, we never reunited as partners for the rest of the semester. I am not sure if it is because I didn’t go to lecture or because of the panties…

I guess I’ll never know.

Cheers.

 

 

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