Lucky 13

Today is my 28th birthday or at least that is what Facebook tells me. I don’t feel older. But I do feel like I have had a real good 28 years. 13 of which I have had the privilege of living next to my best friend.

13 years ago today I asked my wife to “go out with me” in the halls of Franklin Junior High School and the rest, as they say, is history. A lot of people consider thirteen to be unlucky, but today it seems like an extremely lucky number for me.

So, with that, I will cover 13 random thoughts on our relationship.

13. Fighting is good. my wife and I know how to fight, but we are better for it. We learn from every fight, it opens up communication. Show me a couple that “never fights” and I will show you an unhappy couple that will probably not make it.

12. My wife pulls my pants down, a lot. Now, I don’t mean this in the sexual sense… I mean she pulls my pants down like a childhood bully every chance she gets. Usually it is when she is walking behind me up stairs. This is starting to cause psychological trauma that makes it very hard to walk up stairs with someone behind me.

11. I scare my wife every chance I get. Seriously, if there is an opportunity to jump out and scare her, I do it. She screams like a crazy person every time. The best is when she cries… I wonder what our neighbors think?

10. Speaking of our neighbors… we have lived in our house for 3 and a half years now and we still don’t have blinds or curtains on our bedroom windows. We are like Kraemer and Newman on Seinfeld when the reverse their peep holes – “Our policy is, we’re comfortable with our bodies. You know, if someone wants to help themselves to an eyeful, well, we say, ‘Enjoy the show.’”

9. We aren’t afraid of flying, but we never fly. We will never pass up an opportunity for a good road trip and I am finally coming around on letting Jenni drive every once in a while…. it usually ends with a fight, but I am trying!

8. We are both fat kids at heart. I am still fat in real life while Jenni continues to look amazing, but we both are suckers for food. For example: Chipotle, M&Ms, Doritos and Jalepeno Cheddar Cheese dip (which we discovered yesterday has 3% cheese), Chipotle, Cold Stone cake batter ice cream (I add peanut butter cups, she adds oreos), pizza, Chipotle – to name a couple…

7. My wife’s coffee order is a large depth charge with 1 pump of white chocolate (in the cold months) and a large cold press with 1 pump of white chocolate (in the warm months). I don’t drink coffee, but we both love Caribou and hate Starbucks.

6. If my wife is the DD on any given night you can be assured that on the way home I will put on the Across the Universe sound track and we will sing as loud as we can the whole way home. And, if I am really drunk… when we walk inside I will go straight to the computer and we will sing Rent, specifically Light My Candle.

5. If I misplace something, my wife threw it away. Mail, keys, remotes, cell phones, etc. She threw something away once and I am forever conditioned to blame her when I lose something. This usually will start a fight until I find my missing item and apologize.

4. One of our favorite things to do is dance. We are actually pretty good when we are just drunk enough… After that, our ability deteriorates quickly and it usually just ends up with awkward movement and my wife yelling, “spin me! Spin me!”

3. We laugh, a lot. Usually at the expense of other people.

2. We both agree that day drinking is probably the most fun thing you can do on a Saturday (or Friday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday… just let us know ahead of time so we can get the time off of work).

1. We both agree that we are best friends. We both agree that we are in love. We both agree that we are probably the best married couple that has ever existed.

Cheers.

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